


I'm Missing You

by regimagi



Category: BTOB
Genre: Angst, Kwangjae, Little fluff?, M/M, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-01
Updated: 2017-11-01
Packaged: 2019-01-27 19:23:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 406
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12588860
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/regimagi/pseuds/regimagi
Summary: "We will stay together as long as Eunkwang-hyung stays healthy." I remember saying it lightly.And then you died.





	I'm Missing You

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by BTOB's Missing You MV - https://youtu.be/wDkjWSt3HOM
> 
> Sungjae's POV

You never seem tired showing the world how precious am I to you.

Maybe because you already know that you're the most precious person to me. 

I love it when you pat my head. You are much smaller than me so it makes it hard for you to reach my head, but you always make sure to do that whenever I finished my solo schedules.  
Everytime your fingers ruffles my hair, it never fails to make me burst with such undescribable happiness. 

_"You've worked hard, Sungjae-ya."_ You always said that while rubbing my head.  
Those words are my favorite song to my ears, I won't get bored listening to it.

I adore you so much, Eunkwang-hyung. I will do anything to make you proud of me, I will not let you down.

That's why, when I found this small note in my room, my mind just shuts down.  
I know this handwriting too well, if it's not you, I don't know who else.

 _I'm sorry_ , said the notes. The words were quite unreadable, as it was blurred by your tears.

You were always such a crybaby, but only when you thought you were alone, when you thought no one would hear you.

You never did anything wrong, yet you said sorry too many times I've lost count.

Without thinking, my feet were already running, looking for you.

\--

It took me forever to find you.

It took everything to drag you here.

I've been slapping your cheek countlessly, the same cheek that I used to stroke carefully while you were asleep.  
I even got the chance to feel your mouth on me, breathing the same air through our airways. So that you will open your eyes and slap me for being such a brat.

But now, your pale, chafed lips.. it's too cold.

Your body is too cold, hyung, not the warmth I used to feel from your daily hug.  
You were easy to shiver from the cold, that's why I lend you my clothes more than I count. You look so small when you were enveloped by my much larger clothes... My mind's going crazy thinking how cute you were. My cute little hyung that I respect so much.

Just like before, you also look so small. Surrounded by the wide ocean, floating as if you're weightless. 

"We will stay together as long as Eunkwang-hyung stays healthy." I remember saying it lightly. 

And then you died.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for the suicide theories in the MV my mind has been freaking tortured by those for weeks :')))
> 
> Sungjae's words in the summary was quoted from the comeback press release interview if I'm not wrong... I just really touched by his words and I can't forget it until now ㅠㅠ
> 
> (((But then you used it in this way lmao,,,,)))
> 
>  
> 
> I also want to thank not only God but also Jesus for making kwangjae on the rise in this comeback yes we all need kwangjae in our lives
> 
>  
> 
> hmu @btoday6 in Twitter :)


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